i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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