I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize