when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
