She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
