I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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