My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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