I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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