he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize