i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
