smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
All the doctor said was why
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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