How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
