i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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