"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Randomize
