New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
