New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize