Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
