i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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