i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
