Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
