My nipple is on Facebook.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
