Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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