She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize