All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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