i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
