I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
