I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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