we're blogging at a bar
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize