bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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