I need help removing her.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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