so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
