I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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