I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
accomplished twins. life is a go
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
