yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
