i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
