i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
So. Much. Porn.
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