we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
You left your underwear on the fireplace
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
