you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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