Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
