So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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