That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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