omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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