Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
