Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
