She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
