Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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