I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
We left an ass print on the piano.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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