I look better un-naked...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
