I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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