Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
pray to the hookup gods
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
