Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
