apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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