We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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