I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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