i wish there were pregnant emoticons
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
