Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
