a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
my phone needs a breathalizer
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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