what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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